It's 12:27, and I should be in bed. I should be learning choreography for classes tomorrow. I should be resting to nourish my tired body. I should edit this before I post it, but I won't... so check your grammar, spelling, punctuation judgements at the door because I don't care about that right now. My mind is full, too full to edit. My mind is full of things I can't, or shouldn't, do.
I can't stop thinking about all the wonderful births that women I know have had. I also can't stop thinking about the number of unexpected births, or the number of traumatic births. I can't stop thinking about the doctors who treat pregnancy like a medical condition, and birth like a cure instead of a part of life.
I'm planning on attending the Labor Day Rally to Improve Birth here in Des Moines, IA. Originally, I planned on going by myself because I wanted to meet people and share stories and help make a difference in how humans are brought into the world. I wanted to see what others had to say about the topic. I wanted to see if there really was anything I could do.
Then, it changed. I wanted to invite people. So I got on my Facebook page for the event and clicked the glorious little "invite friends" button. A brand new window popped up, filled with the faces of friends I am close with, friends I adore from a far, and friends I haven't spoken with in years. Then the doubt started.
Oh, I shouldn't invite her/him... they don't live in Des Moines. I shouldn't invite them because... they don't have kids. I shouldn't invite her because her birth was normal as far as I know. I shouldn't invite her because she didn't have any complications. I shouldn't invite him/her/them because they don't understand why it matters.
Then I stopped myself, and I got really irritated at my thoughts and my assumptions... along with the assumptions of probably 75% of the people I know.
If you're reading this, odds are you were born. If you were born, someone birthed you from their womb. Maybe it was the easiest labor and delivery in the world, maybe it was text book. Maybe things didn't go as planned. Maybe things were horrifying and unbeknownst to you, the woman who birthed you was traumatized. Maybe she never talks about it because no one will understand why it matters. Maybe the perfect birth was perfect because of a doctor, or a midwife, or a doula, but SHE doesn't talk about it because no one will understand why it matters... it was perfect, why are you discussing it?
Because it matters.
It matters because we as women spend so much time fighting for our choices. Our right to work in all fields of employment, our right to serve in the military, our right to marry who we love, our right to have children, our right to NOT have children... we fight for our rights to walk the street in whatever type of clothing and not be harassed, we fight for the victims of violence, we fight to nurse in public, we fight to bottle feed, we fight to home school, we fight for better public education. We fight the glass ceiling that is pressed on us, we fight not only for us, we fight for our husbands/partners/children/friends/families as well... we fight for our right to party.
Women are fighters by nature. We fight to stay alive, we fight for our beliefs, we fight for each other.
Why shouldn't we all fight for the right to birth the way we want?
Improving birth matters for every single female child in the world. Someday, she may want to have a child, and she'll go through birth... it matters for her.
Birth matters for the fathers of the babies as well. It's not just a woman who goes through labor, her partner is there with her... scared and worried about two people he or she loves more than anything in the world. Birth matters for our partners.
Birth matters for every single woman who wants to be induced - because it's her choice.
Birth matters for every single woman who doesn't want to be induced... because again, it's her choice.
Birth matters for every planned or unplanned Cesarean section - because we have the right to bond as soon as possible with our new arrivals, and we have a right to know the risks and rewards of any surgery.
Birth matters for every woman who wants a VBAC - because we shouldn't be scared into surgery again, or told our bodies won't work right before we're even given the opportunity to try.
Birth matters for every woman who DOESN'T want a VBAC - because she still has a choice.
Birth matters for every woman with a perfect birth - because this should be something that is not uncommon, it should be a precedent.
Birth matters for every woman traumatized during the experience - because she should be able to talk about it so she can heal, and improve things for the next time around.
Birth matters for every person who chooses to remain childless - because even if they aren't your kids, someday you will be involved with a person who has been born, and it matters how they were brought into this world just as much as how they were raised.
Finally, birth matters because we were all born.
There are rallies happening across the country on Labor Day (how appropriate, yes?). You can attend. You can show up and show your support for mothers, care providers, doulas, doctors, midwives, fathers, daughters, grandmothers, sisters... you can show up to support humanity pretty much anywhere. You don't have to say anything. You don't have to have children. You don't even have to be female... you just have to show your support so we can change the view of birth from medical condition to normal and miraculous part of life.
Why should you show up?
Because you were born, and it mattered.
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