Yup. Though curious as to what happened since I wasn't watching the show, I wasn't exactly surprised by it. I will admit, though, that I was a little disturbed. In fact, even though at first I only saw approximately thirty seconds of her set, my brain immediately shouted "INAPPROPRIATE!!"
Then I pulled back for a second, remembering it wasn't long ago many were crying out in shock over Rihanna posting sexually explicit pictures of herself on her Instagram (or some other photo platform) feed, and Katy Perry dancing around on a cotton candy background while wearing daisy dukes. While neither of those things were that interesting to me (I didn't even care enough to look up Rihanna's pictures, and had to have someone show me the Katy Perry video) and my brain had a similar response. But my thought then was "All right... inappropriate, yes. But you're a twenty-something healthy, beautiful girl. If you want to flaunt it, and be sexual, go for it. Have at and enjoy."
The images of Rihanna and many other a starlet (did I just use that term? Dear Lord, where is my thesaurus!?!) who engages in anything sexual will prompt some sort of a reaction. Some will cry inappropriateness, and others will cry out against "slut shaming."
Slut shaming, to me, is ridiculous. It's sad that women are called "prude" if they appear pious, and "slutty" if they express enjoyment over anything. There is no middle ground. And slut shaming doesn't only happen to famous or not-so-famous women who are seen expressing their sexuality. It happens to victims of sexual violence or assault - because it was her fault for drinking too much, or wearing that skirt. It happens to teenagers who make the mistake of sending the then boyfriend a picture of herself in a provocative pose, only to have it spread to the rest of the school - because she should know better than to ever trust ANYONE not to share something private. It happens to women in general... every day.
Yes, women in general, and yes, every day. Being pregnant, and having been pregnant before, I honestly cannot tell you how many times I've had someone joke to me about it. "Sometimes when I see a pregnant woman, I sheepishly giggle to myself because I know that she put out!" "You're pregnant! You definitely had sex then!"
Why, yes... I did engage in sexual activity with a partner, I might have even initiated it... or found it enjoyable! Is this not something women in relationships do? Is this also not something that men do? Or, unlike with men, is it because the evidence is blatantly obvious under my shirt you feel the need to comment or giggle inside your head? And while you giggle at me, are you going to high five the father for "getting some?"
Is this your first thought? Because, if so, I think you need help. The first thought - or first thousand thoughts - when seeing a pregnant woman should be "YAY" or "Congratulations!" or "I hope it's healthy." If those aren't your first thoughts, I'm inclined to wonder if you're actually human, or just a silly person masquerading as a human.
I could go on and write ten thousand posts about why it's okay for women (pregnant or otherwise) to enjoy sex in a safe, healthy relationship (no matter if it's one night or ten years). I could write numerous articles about the double standard between men and women when it comes to sexual behaviour. I could write millions of words about the need to teach boys to respect and value women and ect. ect. ect...
But, at this current time, I'm trying to analyze my personal reaction to my fear that I'm slut shaming Miley Cyrus. And, maybe, commenting lightly on the state of society, rather than engaging in a rational, analytical discussion. So... back to the VMA's.
After I shook my head and laughed over the thirty second clip, I backed up and said to myself "Why is it okay, in your mind, for someone else to post explicit pictures of themselves or express their sexuality on stage, but it's not okay for Miss Miley?"
Well... I didn't exactly see a lot of sexuality in that performance. Not saying I didn't see images or a performance that was trying desperately to be sexual, but I didn't see healthy sexuality being expressed.
Trying desperately to be sexual... That's what I saw. I saw a girl who, even after a number of already controversial acts, is still desperate for attention. Each of these acts evolve, getting trashier and trashier, but they don't shock me. I just shake my head and wonder why.
I saw a girl impetuously trying to cause controversy. I saw a girl who I didn't think danced very well, or didn't have a very good choreographer. I saw WAY more tongue than should ever be allowed. I saw a girl in dire need of someone in her life to say "Look, if you want to have a grown-up sexual image, we can work toward that. Lets lose the teddy bear references because they're creepy." I saw a smiling and singing, but the words should have been "Pay attention to me! I'm a white girl and I'm not supposed to twerk but I do it anyway! LOOK! LOOK OVER HERE!!!"
In the end, I saw a girl with no self respect... which is sad.
I realize many think the same thing about Rihanna, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, ect... others who came before Miley and have done similar things. Taylor, not so much sexually, but she gets ripped on all the time for writing songs about her relationships (and how many she has. Because a twenty-something-year-old shouldn't date at all, let alone numerous boys...)
If she can't write about her life, what's she supposed to write about? The sun? The trees? All artists, musical or other, draw on life experiences to create their work. You can't tell me "Somebody That I Used to Know" isn't written about SOMEBODY Gotye used to know. It's the job of an artist to express what we all feel at times, but don't have the ability to say/envision/paint/write. That's why we have artists and creativity.
Taylor's not ashamed her songs are about people she's dated. And she shouldn't be; she's not the first person to do it, she certainly won't be the last.
Rihanna laughed off her "slut" label. Why? She knows who she is, she knows what she's like... and she's not doing whatever she's doing to impress anyone. She's doing it for her.
But Miley... to me, I don't think that performance last night was for you... that was for us. Because I wouldn't think you'd grind on teddy bears or play with a foam finger if you weren't trying to get our attention and shock us. But if it was for you... and the attention and backlash you're getting is what you wanted... then I guess, good job?
Miley.. I think... how I actually feel... I'm not trying slut shaming you for your performance. I'm not being critical, or disturbed, by your set based on it's sexual content. I'm being critical because I feel, whatever artistry you were trying to convey, was very forced. Because it seemed so forced and desperate, it made me uncomfortable. I also think, and I could be wrong, it's coming from a young girl who has no clue what is sexual to her, and what is not.
It almost reminded me of the scene in the 40-Year-Old Virgin where Steve Carrell's character is surrounded by his co-workers who are talking nonchalantly about their sexual escapades and experiences... and he's trying desperately to keep up and hide his secret.
So Miley, while the rest of the internet is screaming "slut," "whore," or various other insults at you while collectively shaking their heads, maybe you can take note of the little voice over here that is not reacting how you wished. I think you should spend some time cuddling with Liam (or, if you don't want to, I volunteer...) finding out what makes you feel good, finding your value, and realizing that if showing the world how sexually free you are is really something you want to do, perhaps take a step away from the ideas of how a post-Disney starlet is supposed to act, and find out how Miley wants to act.
And, please... for the sake of all... fire your production manager/choreographer/stylist/ or anyone who encouraged you in organizing that performance last night. Because... well... just do. You can do better, you really can.
No comments:
Post a Comment