Is kind of in a swearing mood so I apologize for that before hand - and if you're offended by any swearing you can kindly leave and go elsewhere rather than criticize my language since I warned you before hand.
So... despite my best efforts, if there are such things when it comes to this, I think I'm ready to admit that I have a bit of PPD this time around. Not extensive, but I've just had a lot of feelings of guilt/inadequacy, a lot of confusion, and a lot of anger about feeling this way in general.
Why the anger? Well, for starters, the "normal" me would be telling myself "It's okay, everything will be fine. Go see a counselor, take care of yourself and things will get better." This was my reaction the first time I had depression, whenever my anxiety has flared up, and the first time I had PPD after Chance. I'm usually more than willing to admit I need help, and more than willing to ask for it.
But this time around, that sensation has been met with a lot guilt and anxiety.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Monday, January 20, 2014
A Successful Disappointment - AKA: My birth story and dealing with mommy guilt.
There is a Mr. Man asleep next to me right now, who in my
not-so-humble opinion is one of the most perfect Mr. Mans in all the world. He’s got soft dark hair, cute baby smiles
at six weeks old, and behaves pretty much like a textbook baby. In fact, almost everything about him and his
arrival was text book in some ways.
In other ways, there have been many changes to my life, to my
home, to myself that it almost feels like a whole new experience. I suppose the birth of every child feels
that way, whether you've had one or fifty.
Which is why I'm frustrated that no one has published a book aimed at
third, fourth or fifth time mothers just to assuage the guilt or confusion that
comes with having another child.
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